10 Ways To Have More Fun At Your IEP Meeting

1. Wear costumes. On the meeting invitation, say, "Festive Dress Required."

2. As an equalizer, require all attendees to wear Groucho glasses.

3. Require all attendees to bring a musical instrument.

4. Provide refreshments: Jalapeno Cheetos, and red Kool-Aid.

5. Invite Hillary Rodham Clinton. List her name on the cover sheet

6. Try this introductory exercise: If you were a color, what color would you
be and why?

7. Play background music-anything by Frank Zappa.

8. Give everyone a set of five flash cards to be used as the mood strikes:

• Who invited him?
• I love your hair! Where did you get it done?
• I’m sure we can trust that this will get worked out.
• Does the law have any bearing on this?
• Excuse me for 10 minutes while I can call my lawyer.

9. Have the TV in the room tuned to the Court Channel.

10. Keep score. Give a really nice door prize to the IEP team member
(parents excluded) who makes the most positive comments about your child.
Award grand prize to the IEP team member who makes the most negative
comments about your child - the winner gets to provide 36 hours of respite
care, in their home, to your child.

Dr. Suess' IEP's

(Rhythm from Green Eggs & Ham)

Do you like these IEPs?

I do not like these IEPs
I do not like them, Geez Louise
We test, we check
We plan, we meet
But nothing ever seems complete

Would you, could you like the form?

I do not like the form I see
Not page 1, not 2, not 3
Another change
A brand new box
I think we all
Have lost our rocks

Could you all meet here or there?

We could not all meet here or there
We cannot all fit anywhere!
Not in a room
Not in the hall
There seems to be no space at all

Would you, could you meet again?

I cannot meet again next week
No lunch, no prep
Please hear me speak
No not at dusk.  No not at dawn
At 4 p.m. I should be gone

Could you hear while all speak out?
Would you write the words they spout?

I could not hear, I would not write
This does not need to be a fight
Sign here, date there
Mark this, check that
Beware the student's ad-vo-cat(e)

You do not like them
So you say
Try again, try again!
And you may

If you will let me be
I will try again
You'll see

Say!

I almost like these IEPs!
I think I'll write six thousand three
And I will practice day and night
Until they say
"You've got it right!"

Top 10 Signs... That You're Going To Have A Bad IEP Meeting

By Colleen F. Tomko

10.    The IEP invitation lists "drive-thru" hours.

9.     When you get to the meeting, the staff want to know what you are doing there.

8.    They give you complimentary white flags and tissues.

7.     Your child's student ID # is 666.

6.     They try to convince you that the attending speech therapist really is the janitor's identical twin.

5.     You find yourself explaining that... the regs say they can use IU's for related services, not I-O-U's.

4.     The special ed coordinator says 'Have we got a place for your kid?".

3.     They think "inclusion" is some type of venereal disease.

2.     The staff is bumming because their label maker burned out.

1.     You over hear the staff talking about the Least "resisted" environment.

Colleen presents as a severely overactive parent (SOP, not to be confused with SOB, ODD or ABC), president of Kids Together, Inc., Coordinator for Parent to Parent of PA, and committee lifer. Observed behaviors include multi-tasking, paper filing, pestering administrators and limited relaxation.

"...Your Child Might Have An IEP."

In talking with families many seemed confused about whether their child had an IEP through the school. To assist families in determining whether their child has an IEP, we felt it would be helpful to apply the Foxworthy test.

• If you have ever attended a meeting at school with 25 professionals... your child might have an IEP.

• If you are the only one wearing jeans.... your child might have an IEP.
• If these professionals speak a different language.... your child might have an IEP.
• If the meeting room was the size of a closet... your child might have an IEP.
• If you have ever been asked, "do you think your child is the only one in the district?"...your child might have an IEP.
• If you have ever heard, "we do not have money for that!"... your child might have an IEP.
• If you have ever been called an "overprotective, hysterical parent" or an "uninvolved parent"... your child might have an IEP.
• If you have ever been told your child "will just grow out of it", "is lazy", "slow", irresponsible", "immature and/or sensitive" etc...etc... your child might have an IEP.
• If you feel you have walked into "Assertiveness Training 101" by accident...your child might have an IEP.
• If you have ever been screamed at by a school official...your child might have an IEP.
• If you have ever been told your child will be lucky to grow up and dig ditches...your child might have an IEP.
• If it has ever been suggested to move to another District...your child might have an IEP.
• If you have ever been invited to home school your child... your child might have an IEP.
• If you have ever called the school and asked for your child and were told "we do not have anyone here by that name..." your child might have an IEP.
• If your family is ever discussed in the teachers lounge... your child might have an IEP.
• If every time you call the school board office, the person you need to talk to is in a meeting...you might have an IEP.
• If a meeting with the school has ever been rescheduled more than twice to the time you definitely can not come...your child might have an IEP.
• If you have ever been patted on the shoulder and called "honey" by the principal...your child might have an IEP.
• If it has ever been suggested all your child needs is a "good spanking to straighten him/her up..." your child might have an IEP.
• If you have been asked by a teacher to "just sign it!"... your child definitely has an IEP...
• If you have ever been called Ms Whitesomething... your child might have an IEP.
• If you know your advocate's phone and fax number by heart...your child might have an IEP.
• If you have ever been forced into due process, state court, the district court of appeals, federal court, or the federal circuit court on a fast track to the US Supreme Court... your child might have an IEP.
• If you are known as a due process queen... your child might have an IEP.
• If you can quote federal statutes in your sleep...your child might have an IEP.
• If you have ever requested your child's records and it took two years to receive them...your child might have an IEP.
• If you have ever been told, the district doesn't care if you sign the IEP or not, services have ceased...your child might have an IEP.
• If you have crossed out the words "Procedural Safeguards" on your copy and written in "Procedural Land Mines"... I know I have...then your child definitely has an IEP...for what it's worth.
• If a new teacher went to pull your child's cumulative records and had to make two trips to get it; your child might have an IEP/ You've been through a Due Process.
• Your child might have an IEP/ you've been through a Due Process if [enter state DOE legal head here] knows you.
• Your child might have an IEP/you've been through a Due Process if you sign all your letters, " I look forward to your written response on or before ten (10) business days."