Just a thank you

#1 05-15-2004, 11:15 PM

Lately things have been "easy" meaning I have adjusted to my routine. I catch myself thinking "okay, that went to quick, did I do it all". I am no longer waiting for that MIRACLE of me waking up one morning and it all being over. Don't get me wrong, a normal life is definitely in Jacob's future. I have just stopped pushing myself so hard at wanting it NOW.

I guess what I am trying to say is...I have reached acceptance. acceptance that I cannot control this situation, I can only control how I handle it. I cannot control other people's reaction to it, I can only be the soft place for them to land. I have accepted that we must wait this out as long as it takes and it will take as long as it is meant to.

I don't just look at my son as a gift from God, but also my hero. He has come such a long way in the past year.

I don't know who I am anymore, but I believe I am a better person because of this. I just want to say thank you to each in every one of you. I am sure at some point in time you or one of your posts have helped me deal with the situations we have faced in the past year. I get my strength hear and in the eyes of my child.

Thank you all

Amy

Triciasmom · #2 05-16-2004, 06:11 AM

I don't know who I am anymore, but I believe I am a better person because of this[i]

Amy,

How I wish I could reach out and give you a great big hug. After nearly 3 years of dr/hospital visits and now over 2 yrs with a trach I can fully understand your post! I wanted to share these thoughts

You are...
a loving mother
a skilled care giver
a beautiful woman
an adapted learner (you learned things you never thought you could)
and mostly
You are a survivor!

Forget the reality shows, what we do everyday is 10 times harder!

Godspeed

Clare

Ann · #3 05-16-2004, 09:37 AM

Thanks for sharing. Â*I'm glad you've reached the point of acceptance where you at least don't make yourself crazy waiting for it "to all be over". Â*It's hard to get to that point, but I know once I got there I felt like an enormous weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Â*Our children are our heros, but I suspect if they could tell us anything, they'd tell us we are their heros too! Â*

Ann

christyw · #4 05-16-2004, 09:59 AM

Amy,

That is wonderful, and I was so happy for you as I read the post. Acceptance and your current mindset are key elements in living happily thru whatever may come your way, and seeing each task thru as it arises. Thank you so much for sharing your feelings with us, I'm sure that so many, if not all, of us can relate to this.

Christy

abby · #5 05-16-2004, 11:16 AM

I couldnt agree more with you. As much as Im wishing the vent and trach away, Ive found myself dealing with it better each day and know this is just how things must be for now.
Thanks for sharing an inspirational post

sandra · #6 05-16-2004, 11:32 AM

Thanks Amy for sharing that. I can relate to your post so much. Of course, some days I have more acceptance then others. I'm trying not to just live for the future or I will look back and have totally missed the great things Brian is doing everyday.

Doug-Iowa · #7 05-16-2004, 01:39 PM

Amy,

My wife, son, and I are pretty new to all this as we have only been dealing with it for a few months now. Only a few days with the trach so far. The one thing we have learned so far is whatever it takes, we can muster the efforts to take care of it. At this point I can't imagine what it will be like in a month, year, or more. What I do know is after waiting for 13.5 years for Mason's arrival, we can handle whatever has to come from here. Everytime he looks up and smiles.. WOW it just makes my day. What a great gift we have been given.

As for "Who you are"? That is an easy one. A mother, nurse, house keeper, teacher, student, and a person who still needs time to be you. I hope that my wife and I can be a strong as you are for the duration of what we are facing.

The one other thing that I have found to help me personally is when I am saying my prayers asking for the good things to happen for Mason, I always remember to thank him for the great son he has blessed us with, and the good things we have in our life.

A friend of mine gave me this qoute. "Stop telling God how big your storm is, and start telliing your storm how big God is." This thought has helped me a lot.

Take care of you,
Doug

indiemum · #8 05-16-2004, 03:19 PM

Amy,

I am happy to hear you say that, not because we all expect you to magically wake up one day and be grateful for the life you have been dealt (because it is not easy) but happy because you seem more "up" than before. I don't think that you have to lose a loved one to grieve, I think that grieving is a natural and important part of life because it leads to healing. In the beginning I was soooooooo not able to accept what had happened to my Indie but I cried and screamed and eventually I was at the sign on the path that said "acceptance" so I took the path and I would not change one thing. Good for you, just hang in there.

Kellyxoxo

Whitney · #9 05-17-2004, 08:16 PM

Amy,

Acceptance is a wonderful thing. I know there is definitely one thing everyone here would agree with and that our children give us strength and courage to keep going. I know I get upset occasionally and frustrated, but I remind myself to keep smiling. If Alex and Aidan are happy, everything is as it should be. Their happiness is the most important thing to me and I am grateful they are here to laugh, enjoy, love and be loved. That is truly what matters!!

Whitney