Anxious about kindergarten

[Jae's Mom]

Jaelyn will be starting kindergarten this upcoming school year and I am so anxious about it. She is so excited about going to school for "big kids" and talks about it almost every day. I'm sure she will be just fine, however after recently attending open house at the school she'll be attending (filled with loud energetic children) I'm now beginning to worry...

-Worried that she will be made to feel different by the other children who will be naturally inquisitive about her trach
-Worried that she will not be heard and get her point across in a classroom full of "normal" 5 year olds (she actually verbalizes pretty well even without passy muir valve, but obviously speaks very softly)
-Worried that the presence of the nurse attending school with her each day will be intrusive and draw further unwanted attention
-Worried that she will have trouble keeping up with her peers due to school absences related to illness, doctor's appointments and medical procedures
-Worried that she will have a hard time making new friends, adjusting to a new school setting and riding the school bus for the first time

I realize that most of my anxiety will likely fade away with time and is probably unwarranted. But of course my maternal instinct wouldn't have it any other way.

DH tells me I'm stressing for no reason and that he's sure Jaelyn will fit in just fine and do well just as she has done thus far in her current preschool. Let's hope so!

[Kate]

Mitchell is just finishing up his K year and I can say I think those feelings/fears are normal as I felt them too.

I knew his teacher from working in the school-that helped a bit, but..I suggested to her that I come in and talk about his trach-right away, I think it was the 2nd week-I believe he missed the 1st week because of appointments. I think that this helped a lot. The kids could see that Mitchell had just a typical mom like they do and I was very open with them and took questions. I brought in Mitchell's trached Elmo doll and they had it in the play center for a week or two. They could see the trach up close then. I also passed around an unused trach so they could see what it was.

The teacher said after that the kids really didn't question at all. I showed them the suction machine as well and turned it on so they knew that it was loud. It really went well and calmed my worries as well. The nurse sat back in the corner and I don't know that the kids really even cared.

Kids are getting so used to kids with different needs that I was making it way more of an issue than they really did. I actually am dreading the upper grades when they start to get mean...usually K, they are just curious-which is why I went in and tried to cover everything I could so the curiosity was gone.

Now missing a lot-Mitchell missed a ton. We JUST had his LTP surgery in July and then he missed the first week of school-we had checkups/scopes every 2-3 weeks and they were 5/6 hours away. The school should understand and if they don't-just get a note from the physician and you should be fine. BUT, falling behind....that is tough-the teacher for Mitchell commented the it was hard to get him into the routine because he missed so much. That sucks-but you can't do anything about it. Try to do the work at home that you can with her-ABCs, reading...stuff like that and do your best to get her there-that's all you can do with kids with medical issues. I still hate how much school he missed, but you can't stress over it because there is nothing you can do. If nothing else, have her tutored or go to summer school. (Mitchell does summer school) to try and "catch up". (though he also has a syndrome, so he isn't at grade level, but summer school helps a ton)

Good luck....it will be so good for her and you. It is a scary and new experience but remember that she will take your attitude so if worried-try and hide it so she knows that it's ok to go to school and she'll be great. Hugs, it's tough seeing them grow up that's for sure.

[Jae's Mom]

Thanks Kate for sharing your experience!

I think going to her class to speak with her teacher and classmates during the beginning of the school year is a terrific idea! (...although DH has some reservations because he feels that doing so would single Jaelyn out and draw unnecessary attention to her).

Will let you know how things go.

[Kate]

Originally Posted by Jae's Mom

Thanks Kate for sharing your experience!

I think going to her class to speak with her teacher and classmates during the beginning of the school year is a terrific idea! (...although DH has some reservations because he feels that doing so would single Jaelyn out and draw unnecessary attention to her).

Will let you know how things go.

I wondered the same thing. So, I asked the teacher what she thought. She wanted me to come in because she thought if we got it out in the open right away it wouldn't be the "elephant in the room" type thing.

I guess when I think about it-as hard as it is-I think...he IS different. Kids ARE going to stare and wonder. I just didn't want them to be scared of him. I think that is the toughest look I see in kids eyes-I hate the scared look when they look at him.

You can always bring it up to his teacher before the year starts and see what she/he says-she might say-lets see how the year starts. And-if she feels the kids are ok with the trach and aren't asking too many questions-she may just let it be...if it seems that the trach is a distraction...then tell her you can come in and talk about it.

good luck...they are tough decisions.

[Ainsley's Mom]

Originally Posted by Jae's Mom

...I realize that most of my anxiety will likely fade away with time and is probably unwarranted. But of course my maternal instinct wouldn't have it any other way.

DH tells me I'm stressing for no reason and that he's sure Jaelyn will fit in just fine and do well just as she has done thus far in her current preschool. Let's hope so!

This is the important part of what you're saying. She's done will in preschool, will likely do just fine in Kindergarten but we moms worry about such things. You'll feel better once she starts and you know that she's doing fine despite your concerns which are totally natural.

[Linnae's Mom]

I don't have any advice, but I'm sure she will do great

[JacobKaden]

I also share your fears, as Jacob will be starting kindergarten this fall too! DH and I are definitely going to request that we be allowed to go into Jacob's class to explain about his trach and CP. Children are naturally curious (as are adults ) and a trach is not "typical". We definitely see the "scared" looks from the children in the neighbourhood, so I think "normalizing" it as much as possible will help Jacob and his classmates.

I think your daughter is so much further ahead because she can vocalize and is mobile As Jacob is non-verbal and non-mobile, he will also need an educational aide, plus a nurse. There's just no hiding that he colours outside the lines.

[Kate]

Originally Posted by JacobKaden

I think your daughter is so much further ahead because she can vocalize and is mobile As Jacob is non-verbal and non-mobile, he will also need an educational aide, plus a nurse. There's just no hiding that he colours outside the lines.

I agree with her being further ahead-even just the vocalization is a huge thing--this is how it was with us and Mitchell too--non-verbal and clearly behind others. We're a bit outside the lines ourselves.

[destinyandmiracles]

I was the exact same way as I am sure MANY of us here were

-Worried that she will be made to feel different by the other children who will be naturally inquisitive about her trach

This was my biggest fear. As well, Ashton is in a wheelchair so that was even more of a concern. To be honest though, the kids are curious but as soon as you answer their questions they are good. Much better than adults The respiratory therapist from hospital always goes into the class room to talk to the kids about the trach. She went the first day Ashton did as well and it all went great. She explained things in plain english..the way kiddos that young would understand and answered questions.

-Worried that she will not be heard and get her point across in a classroom full of "normal" 5 year olds (she actually verbalizes pretty well even without passy muir valve, but obviously speaks very softly)

Ashton is non verbal, so obviously a bit different, but he is included everyday with the classroom by using a switch. The teacher is fantastic at making sure he is involved.

-Worried that the presence of the nurse attending school with her each day will be intrusive and draw further unwanted attention

This was a problem in the beginning for us. The nurse was always beside him. After much discussion and me getting angry, she is now in the background. She sits behind a bookcase where she can still keep an eye on him but she is as removed from the situation as possible.

-Worried that she will have trouble keeping up with her peers due to school absences related to illness, doctor's appointments and medical procedures

I worried about this too, but since he started in October, he has only missed maybe one day due to being sick and then one week because his nurse was off with the flu.

-Worried that she will have a hard time making new friends, adjusting to a new school setting and riding the school bus for the first time

I was really anxious about the bus. However turns out, this is one of the best parts of Ashton's day Friends, everyone loves him. I went to school one of the days his nurse was sick with him and I was very happily surprised. At recess there were a few kids that came right up (in older grades) and wanted to push him in his chair. They talk to him like he is "normal" and they treat him no different than any other child.

Hope this helps a bit