What's going on with us...

[Momi2AntnJadyn]

Well... my computer is in a box somewhere in storage, so I have not been here lately. Jadyn is doing wonderful since her surgery, she has lost 5 lbs. as of her last doc. appt.... all fluid.... she is SO teeny, but eating twice as much as she di when she had the big belly... her 1st birthday is on Wednesday! So now for our bad news... as most of you know I'm a single parent to my children, and during the first half of Jadyn's life when we were living in the hospital and I wasn't working, I got behind on my rent. I ended up having to go to court for an eviction hearing, and we came to an eviction stipulation where I had to pay $300 extra in rent per month toward back rent, through Feb. 1st. Well, Jadyn had her surgery just recently which happened to be right in the beginning of the month. I didn't remember to send my rent because we were in the hospital again, it was all so unexpected, sending in my rent payment wasn't the first thing that was on my mind. I was two days late on my payment when I called them to ask if I could bring it by, explained the situation and why I hadn't gotten it in... my landlord said no, it was too late... this was a Friday... he said we had to be out by Monday. The next day there was a court order masking taped to my front door saying that we must be out by Monday, or that the sherriff and a moving company would be there to do an "eviction move". I could not believe it... I told him I would drop the payment off... 2 days late... and he said no, that it was not his problem. I went through everything I could think of to be able to stay there, but every place I contacted said that morally, what he was doing might be wrong, but that legally, he could do it. So, a lady I worked with said that she had a duplex in a suburb about 30 min. from here and that if I wanted, I could move in there. She said it needed to be fixed up "a little", but that I could move in right away if I wanted to. I thought, WOW, maybe things happen for a reason, you know? Finally we wouldn't have to drag all of Jadyn's equipment up a huge flight of stairs to our small second floor apartment anymore. Well, I walked into the duplex, and there was about a foot of water covering every inch of the floor. I guess they hadn't bene over there in a long time, and had no idea that anything had happened over there... I don't really know much about pipes bursting or heater problems or whatever, but whatever happened, the water was hot, and with the cold air coming from outside, it made steam rise off of it, and all the walls, cupboards, etc. were soaking wet too, and starting to become soft, if that makes any sense. So obviously this place was in no way fit for us to move into. I packed all of my things in a period of 2 days not having any idea where we were even going to go. I had a lot of offers to stay with different friends, people I worked with, relatives, etc., but with all of our things and Jadyn and all of her equipment, and most of the people I know living in small apartments, it just wasn't the best option. I ended up putting a month's stay at a hotel (month rates are cheaper than by the night) on a credit card. I didn't know what else to do... we have been in a hotel now for I think almost 3 weeks. I have been working my butt off trying to find a place, but most places say I don't make enough (I don't make 3x most rent amounts which is what a lot of places require), plus now I technically have an eviction on my record. I have started getting desperate with some of the places I have been applying to, applying for even one bedroom apartments for myself, my 4 year old son, and Jadyn and all of her equipment. All of her nurses have quit on me, and went over to this other baby's case that we knew from being in the hospital, who just came out of the hospital on a ventilator and dialysis. I went from trying to get people to cut back on nursing hours, to having no nursing because they weren't getting the hours they needed with us being in a hotel and in such close proximity with each other (I didn't want people there overnight in that situation). I've loved being the only person to take care of both of my children lately, but I can't work like this, I have no one else who can take care of Jadyn. I hate being broke, I feel like such a horrible parent, so I went up and applied for w2 for "caring for a disabled family member" and was approved. I feel ashamed of the fact that I live off money from the state, but everyone I talk to says "that's what it's there for". All we have is Jadyn's SSI and the w2... and no apartment as of yet. Time is running out as to what I can afford at this hotel. This newspaper journalist wants to put our story in the paper, and everyone I speak to just seems to think the whole situation isn't right... that he kicked us out for being 2 days late, due to my daughter being hospitalized for surgery, during the coldest month of the year. Jadyn's 1st birthday is on Wednesday, which I had planned to have a huge celebration for because it's such a big thing to us. One of my aunt's offered to have it at her house, so we will be having a party on the 31st for that... sooo that is what's going on... might not make me sound like the best person in the world, but I just needed to vent.

[Ann]

Amanda, I feel terrible about your situation. Â*Please don't feel bad about accepting government assistance, it's what you need to get through this difficult time and it's not as if you've never worked to support your family. Â*As far as a place to live, if you contacted the social worker at the hospital that Jadyn goes to, he or she should be able to help you. Â*You have a child on a vent, you must have a place to live. Â*I think telling your story to the media is a great idea because there are so many people out there that would love to help someone like you. Â*You have nothing to feel ashamed of. Â*You have worked hard and always put your kids first. Â*Take whatever help is available and use it to get back on your feet. Â*You are a wonderful mommy and if I could help in any way I would! Â*Good luck and please keep us posted.
Ann

[christyw]

Amanda,

I really can't believe the landlord did that. With your baby, on a ventilator, having health issues, and being in the hospital--how heartless! I understand how you could get behind. We just recently got behind on December's and January's house payment, and technically repossession can begin at one month late. We are caught back up now, but it was stressful. I can't imagine actually having to leave tho, and what all you're dealing with.

First and foremost, you are NOT a bad parent, not a so-so parent, you are a wonderful mother. It is embarrassing and painful to go through things like this. Everyone is right when they say that "that's what it's there for" concerning state money. If it weren't for Gaithy's SSI, we would've been in a terrible mess. Â*Another thing that helps us is that Jeremy and I are both in school full time, and have been for the majority of Gaithy's life. Whatever extra financial aid we get can be applied to housing/transportation, and costs like that that are considered for school as well. That is such a lifesaver for us.

I hope that you can find a place very soon. I don't know how much you are getting for this "care of a diabled family member" but I hope that it is enough to get you back up and running. I'm glad that you let us all know what all has been going on. And, if you do let the media run a story, maybe it could be very helpful for you financially. Please, keep us posted.

christy Â*

I cannot believe at this time of year a human being could be so heartless. Â*He obviously has no sense of humanity, and my hope is that guilt eats him up.
You on the other hand have absolutely no reason to feel guilty for getting help. Â*there are so few who truely need the help actually qualify - so if you can get - and you deserve it - you should take it! Â*Please don't feel bad about being a good mom, cause that is what you are.
I would let the media tell your story. Â*It can't hurt you, it can only hurt your landlord.
I wish you the best of luck. Â*I will be praying for you.

Amy

[indiemum]

Oh God Amanda,

I am so sorry for you. I feel like bawling. I have learned from your posts though that you are one tough little cookie. I had no idea that you were on your own. What about co-op housing? The rent is based on what your income is. I know a family here in Canada (in my town) their daughter is sick and they have a lovely 3 bdr duplex and the rent is only 400.00 a month. The mum is also on her own, someone from social services must have some connections. One of our nurses also lives with her son (single mum) in co-op housing and she loves it. I don't know if this helps but it could be an option. It is not a getto, the housing here is lovely, it is hard to believe that it is co-op housing. I am praying for you and I know that you are going to be ok. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeez keep us posted, maybe you will just have to have a grand party a few days late.

Kellyxoxoxoxo

ps You reap what you sew, it is too bad that the landlord will end up shoveling #&*% the rest of his pathetic life. ARRRRRRR

[indiemum]

ps Take the assistance and go to the paper, you are not weak but very powerful and strong, I admire your back bone because some people would just curl up and die.

Kellyxoxoxoxo

[arielsmom]

Amanda, I agree with everyone else of course!! That landlord is a bottom dweller. You are sooooo strong and such a hero for your children. I wish there was something I could do for you. If you ever decide to move to Northern California you have an open invitation (thats helpful I'm sure).

Hugs to you!

Karen

[Judy]

Hi Amanda: My middle daughter's name is Amanda. She also has been going through a bad time. Divorcing an abusive, alcoholic husband who has refused to pay child support since she and the girls left in June. He says he will pay when the Judge tells him to pay. She has started sewing and babysitting to pay the utilities (a friend has given them a house rent free for now). So, we know what you are going through. We help them out as much as we possibly can but we have 3 adopted special needs children and we also foster
2 others. Now...for your situation....take the Government help. The taxes all of us pay is for things like this. And please do go to the newspaper. And request that they list the
man's name who threw you out. I would be willing to bet that when the article comes out you will have more help coming in than you need. Possibly even a nice place to live, free. Go for it. At this point, you have nothing to lose and everythig to gain. I know that you would not accept help if it were not for your children.....but you and the babies need help. Please keep us posted. Good Luck and God Bless You.

Judy

[Jacks Mum]

Amanda, I feel for you, I was a single parent with my Jasmine (5) for 2 years, it's hard, and with what you are going through with Jayden helath Issues, I understand you forgot to pay your rent. Your landlord is heartless, least you are not paying rent to a heartless landlord anymore.

Please dont feel guilty for receiving Govt payments, We are on full Government payment (Dh & I) as to be able to look after Jack at home, we BOTH need to be home as we dont have nursing, our family is not so supportive, they think Mark needs to work, like its shameful to be on Govt payments, but we save taxpayers over $20,000 a fortnight having Jack at home, so i dont care.
I am not sure of your payment system over there, but live off these payments until, you get re-settled, get your nursing back, so you can return to work...
Are you close to your parents, your need stable support from your family..
I really hope things work out by the time you update us.
I wish I could help you out.

Take care
Jessica

for you Â* For Jaydan Â* Â*for Ant