Smokers?

bryantem · #1 01-14-2009, 04:02 PM

Now that the baby is home, my mother-in-law is talking about coming for a visit from Florida. Now the issue is that she is a heavy smoker. We don't allow smoking in our home, and never have, however I am concerned about coming in the house after she has been smoking with smoke on her clothes. Aside from the trach and tracheomalacia, Addisyn also has chronic lung disease. How do you tell someone that they need to change clothes every time they smoke or they can't hold the baby? Do any of you not let people handle the baby if they have been smoking? I am sure she won't be coming any time soon for a visit, but it is still something that is on my mind.
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Bmw Concept X1

Gretchen(Celia's mom) · #2 01-14-2009, 05:54 PM

We always had a sign on the front door about everything,,smoking,,shoes in the house,,hand washing,,ect.
The other thought I had just now was that you could give her a pair of coveralls(like machanics wear) and she has to put those on when she goes out to smoke and take them off before she comes back in?!?!?!

Cades_Mommy · #3 01-14-2009, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gretchen(Celia's mom)

We always had a sign on the front door about everything,,smoking,,shoes in the house,,hand washing,,ect.
The other thought I had just now was that you could give her a pair of coveralls(like machanics wear) and she has to put those on when she goes out to smoke and take them off before she comes back in?!?!?!

That is what I was going to suggest too.... make her wear something over her clothes if she is going to smoke. As soon as she comes back in I would have her brush her teeth and wash her hands before she could touch the baby.

Mom2TwinsPlus1 · #4 01-14-2009, 06:10 PM

We don't allow smoking in our home, we never have, especially since my best friend died of lung cancer. We have had nurses that smoked, and my sister smokes. I do allow them to hold Emma with their smoked in clothes on, but Emma doesn't have any lung issues, and she is also vented which is filtered.

I can understand the need to keep smokers away from children with issues in their lungs. I think you just have to be honest and say "We can't have you smoking or wearing smoked on clothing around the baby, I am sorry but you will either have to refrain from smoking or figure out a way to wear clean clothing around the baby." Tell them its an order from the doctor, not you, that way all the "heat" if they get mad is on your doctor and not you! Explain to them WHY and I think things will work themselves out

Baby1107 · #5 01-14-2009, 06:56 PM

We don't allow smoke or smokers either. My XFIL was not too happy on his last visit, but never made a fuss after the initial warning.

hcs_mom · #6 01-14-2009, 07:32 PM

There was no smoking, period. Aside from Hannah's lung and airway issues, I didn't want that smell brought back into the house, I didn't want it on someone's clothes, and besides, we have oxygen in the house.

Before her visit, (and I mean, say, if she's flying, before she buys tickets), make sure these rules are understood.

We have a few family members that smoke and they were more than willing to honor our requests regarding smoking. I guess my feeling is that if someone truly wants to be part of our lives, visit with us, etc., they will do what it takes.

Good luck.
Jennie

Ainsley's Mom · #7 01-15-2009, 12:06 AM

My birth mom is a heavy smoker. She knows Ainsley can't be around second hand smoke. We don't allow smoking in our home and never have. But she smokes heavily in her house. When we come over with Ainsley she will setup a smoking area in the garage for all the smokers. Which is great for all of us because otherwise the house gets quite unbearable at times. When the older kids come home from her house (without Ainsley) we have to wash everything because of the smell.

But we draw the line at that. I wouldn't dare ask her to change her clothes.

cariaad · #8 01-15-2009, 06:24 AM

From experience I can say, keep the smoker away. Make them change clothes wash hands and smoke away from the house like at the end of the drive. Mike smoked when Allison came home and altho I had made these rules at home he still smelled of smoke a lot. ALlison was sick a lot more with pneumonia then, too. It took a doctor at t he hospital telling him he was probably causing her to get sick to make him quit. She stopped being sick all the time after that. Deb

kshell · #9 01-15-2009, 07:12 AM

I would simply not allow it if you feel comfortable with that. I know that it is hard and no one wants to hurt anyone's feelings. I would make sure she knows the rules before visiting. My husband had way stronger feelings about smoking than I did with our first child who had no breathing issues. His mother was a heavy heavy smoker. He told her before her birth that we would not visit with the baby if she continued to smoke in the house. It always stunk to high heaven. And she could visit anytime as long as she did not smell like smoke. My husband has terrible allergies and I know that he attributes it to growing up in a "smoke house". When our older daughter was 18 months she actually stopped smokings.

We also had a night nurse who smoked, you cold tell when she came into the home. Night nurses are always the hardest to come by. I spoke with Natalie's pulmonology nurse practitioner about it and she said that keeping any and all smoke away from a child with chronic lung disease is critical, even the smoke smell left over on clothing can irritate a child's airways. So I had to have the uncomfortable talk with that nurse. She then seemed to understand when I explained what pulmonolgoy said.

Sorry to go on and on, I think the question must have hit a nerve.

Good luck, I hope you can find a solution.

Karen

Kate · #10 01-15-2009, 08:02 AM

Here is an article on "3rd hand smoke" they JUST had this on the Today show--couldn't find it on there.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases...1229105037.htm

When we ran into something like this-something I didn't want people to do but it was a sensitive situation (which I would call you are in being it is your MIL)
I would always blame it on the doctors. You could just do your "laundry list" of what you can't do-because this is what the drs have said she needs in order to stay healthy and then throw in the no smoking around her-and the changing clothes and washing hands before touching her or being around her. Like I said-we did this often because then they don't feel like you are attacking them or their habit-but that it is drs orders. Depending on your relationship with your MIL-I'd think about having your husband there when laying out the ground rules that way she sees that both of you are on the same page.