Co-Workers who just don't understand

I just wanted to write so that I could vent some of my anger about my situation at work. I have been back to work since the first week in October and people were really not supportive because I couldn't work my normal shift due to morgan's condition. The Union and my company agreed to let me come in to work to hrs after the regular shift started and work two hrs over. My husband I work for the same company so he doesn't get out of work till 4pm were as my normal shift in my dept starts at 3pm. I go in at 5pm and work till 1pm in the morning so that my husband is home with morgan before I go to work. I do not have nursing only 25 hrs a week and the schedule changes so there is no way that I can do a normal shift. It has been several months since I have been back and most of the people I work with have gotten used to my shifts and used to the fact that between morgans appt and any emergencys she may have I come and go w/proper dr notes for work. There still seems to be the few that keep running there mouths about me and my daughter and how I get special treatment. I have put up with it for so long and I am wearing thin. Morgan went to the hospital on 2/24/02 when she got the flue. I wasn't expecting her to throw up. I didn't even know anything was wrong at that point so when I was cleaning her trach she vomited and it went into her trach. I did a emergency trach change and after shallow suctioning before the trach was changed (due to vomit was very thick and chunky, I didn't want to push anything down into her lungs) I deep suctioned after the trach was changed. She developed pneumonia. Because I did the steps that I did in her care I saved her from becoming very sick. She ended up getting dehyderated and needed IV. Well, she spent sunday night through Tuesday night in the hospital. I returned to work to have to hear crap. There is this one lady that seems to really have it in for me because of what she calls "My Special Treatment". Anyway, She said that I hype up my daughters condition and use her so that I can get everyone to feel sorry for me and let me have my way. I know I shouldn't listen to this women but, I have so much else to deal with I just can't help letting her get on my last nerve. I have never used my daughter and her condition for anything. I always bring in proper paper work to my boss to show why I wasn't at work. I spoke to my supervisor about the situation and told him that I was wearing thin and I am only human and I don't know how much longer I can just walk away and ignore this women. To me this is harassment from this women. I also spoke to me boss and informed him of what was going on and that I was going to see personnel and report it the next time. I know I shouldn't let her get to me but, after several months It is really starting to wear me down. Everyone else that I work with has either finally understood or just keeps it to themselves. I hated going to my boss because I feel like I am stooping to her level and being childish but, I can only be adult like for so long. Anyone have any idea's on how to deal with someone like this.
Heather L. Trotter
Mom to 16 month Morgan Trotter

[Lily's Mom]

Heather,
Your post made me soooooo mad! Â*I'm sorry I don't have much advice, because I haven't gone back to work yet at all (Lily is 9 months old) because Lily keeps me so busy with her care, even when it's just the routine daily stuff, not to mention if she gets sick or is in the hospital, has surgery, etc.!! Â*I admire you sooo much for doing all you do AND going back to work! Â*People who make judgments about what you should or should not be doing with/for your child make me FURIOUS because they have no idea what we deal with on a daily basis! Â*(That includes family members and doctors, by the way) Â*I would just invite your coworker to spend 24 hours in your house, see what it's like, and then see if she has any complaints. Â*The one thing that we've learned from our situation is how much people take for granted with their normal, "low-maintenance" kids (or not having kids at all) and how little they understand that having a baby with a trach (and whatever problems led to the baby having a trach) is TOTALLY a different and much more challenging ball game!! Â*It's not like any of us chose to have medically fragile, special needs kids just so we could get special treatment at work--GEEZ!
Sorry no advice, just wanted to commiserate with you and tell you to keep up the good work, and keep doing whatever you have to do to take good care of your baby. Â*You're amazing. People who make the "special treatment" comments are just plain ignorant. Â*
Whew!
Erica (Lily's Mom)

[Gretchen(Celia's mom)]

AMEN to Erica(Lily's mom). Just keep chugging away and love your daughter. I am also very impressed that you work too. I can't imagine working on top of taking care of Celia. You are an inspiration!!!! Gretchen(Celia's mom)

[bradensmom]

I had the same situation at my job in the past. This one particular lady gave me he . I went to my boss just like you out of frustration. After a while I just ignored it (that was really hard). I'm glad that I did because usually when a person is giving one person problems they are causing problems with others as well. This lady that I am talking about finally cut her own throat. She ended up getting herself fired because she just couldn't keep her mouth shut about everyone. I might add that she was actually a very good worker and did a good job, but she kept so much stuff stirred up with everyone that my company finally had enough and canned her. It might sound bad but I was thrilled when this happended.
Amy

[Mom2TwinsPlus1]

Don't let her bother you. There are always going to be mean people that don't understand. She probably wants the attention to be on herself. You might just tell her you are sorry she feels like you are getting special treatment but that your daughter is sick and that is a fact that will not change. I would just leave it at that. Anymore interaction about it or discussions about it is probably all she wants, just to stir things up.


Remember you are there to work, not listen to gossip, if it keeps you from doing your job then talk then and only then talk to your boss.

[Whitney]

How are things Heather?

[cariaad]

We had a "similar" situation at Alli's school this year. Some of the other parents complained because the parents who have to use the handicapped parking must enter thru the exit drive to rreach them (because the other parents are too rude to leave a lane between their cars and the buses). They thought we were "cutting" in order to get in and out faster. Our assistant principal did everything humanely possible to explain to them, but some sSTILL grumble. I told him to tell them they could adopt a special needs child so they could "enjoy the privledge" of having to take their child into and out of the classroom personally from the handicapped parking instead of sitting in their cars waiting for the assistants to deliever their healthy children directly to them!! I think he actually suggested it to one of the more vocal complainers who has now, finally, shut up. Just hang in there and it will have to resolve itself without you! Deb

[annettevz]

This is another old post!

Annette