First, ditto to what everyone's said about things getting easier (Paul has been home a few months shy of 2 years -- wow, I can't believe it).
Amino acid supplementation has been a huge help to us as well, to cope with the inevitable stress. I highly recommend The Mood Cure, which outlines what you can take when.
To oversimplify, amino acids are teh building blocks to neurotransmitters, and we use our supply of them up quite rapidly under stress (and drinking coffee, alcohol, poor diet, etc.)
Things like seratonin, dopamine, etc -- the chemicals that calm us down, ease pain, give us energy (the right kind, not the nervous kind.)
I used to reach for wine at, oh, 3pm? sometimes earlier. No not every night!
though it was tempting... and hopped myself up on cups of coffee in the morning. Sugar, you probably know the drill, or some version of it.
After about 4-5 months home, I went on antidepressents, and even got a prescription for atavan which I would use during the 5pm "panic" time. I weaned off these things, but still needed help. Since November, which was just over a yaer home, my husband and I have been using the amino acids, and with far better results, no side effects.
Anyway, that's my tired long winded input. I guess my point is that those panicky and overwhelmed and depressive feelings can be helped with physical support -- and for anyone under stress SHOULD be helped, b/c stress depletes us physically.
Just sent a prayer up that Ellie is home for good, and that things go continuously smoother for you