Had to let nurse go

[libby1205]

Hi everyone,
So this may be long but I needed some advice from people who know. I already fired the nurse so whats done is done but I just wanted to hear some honest opinions. We have had this nurse for about 4 months about 3 times a week.Its been 4months of negative comments. I only work overnight shift on the weekends so except for monday when I am sleeping (my husbands home) I am home with the baby all week. Most of the time I am up until at least when the 11pm nurse comes so I am not getting a ton of sleep and it isnt restful. this nurse would make certain comments like oh I heard your alarm going off I guess you slept through it. Id say yeah I guess. Now I am talking my alarm is always set for 730a and I am up always by 8/830 at the extreme latest. So now Im like ok am I supposed to be up at 7 every morning when she gets here?? some mornings Isabella doesnt wake up till 8. my husband gets up at 9 for work at 10 he gets home around 730/8p and some nights he goes to his brother in laws business until whenever to help out. So i have Isabella by myself until late every day. I never nap when the nurse is here- when Isabella naps I catch up on crap and when she is awake I am with her. My husband and I like to speak to each other so we sometimes stay up talking until 1 or so. Another comment she made was why my husband doesnt wake up earlier- What would daddy do if he had a real job?? uhhh what? So i ignored it. I bought Isabella the cutest personalized sesame street pillowcase- "no she cant have a pillow shes not ready for that". uhh okay. "Please tell me your going to put her in the high chair to feed her shes making a mess!" Well Isabella is really eating alot so I dont want to keep forcing her to sit in this highchair every 2 hours and you dont clean up our mess anyway. "If mommy wants to keep candles in her house Im going to have to keep blowing my nose" uhhh hello Im sitting right here. She called out on a saturday for upper respiratory infection and came to work monday and my husband made her wear a mask, she said i dont need a mask it was a 24hour thing. what?? And she has no idea how to change vent tubing or do the leak test, which we found out becaue there would always be a problem after she changed it.So this is me basically venting- I guess part of me feels guilty about how she must feel when they told her that we didnt want her here anymore. She denied saying anything inappropriate, and the supervisor told me there was a long line of people behind me complaining. But it was to the point where I felt constantly judged and id cry to my husband on the phone in the garage. What id really like to know is for those of you who dont have work in the morning, am I wrong for trying to get some sleep?? Should I feel guilty for being so tired?? The nurse supervisor says we should sleep thats why the nurse is there, but are they just being nice. If im wrong tell me I can take it.

[mariap76]

We have a nurse that comes on Saturday mornings, and I work all week and normally get up at 4:15 AM. I take full advantage of the saturday nurse and sleep in, this morning I didn't get out of bed until 7:30. The more rest we can get the better able to take care of our children. I think you did the right thing. Who needs someone around who is going to make you feel guilty for getting some sleep? It's her job to take care of your child, I can't even imagine why she would feel the need to say anything like that.

[Ann]

You did the right thing ... you didn't need the added stress the nurse was bringing into your home. I hope you feel a sense of relief knowing that you don't have to put up with that nurse's comments anymore - she was way out of line.

[drct1245]

Honestly, I see 2 options, either you tell the nurse something like "our philosophy that we are teaching Isabelle is if you can't say something nice, please don't say it at all". But, you know she won't change. So, when ever I was on the fence, my mommy gut was usually telling me to cut them lose. So go w/ your mommy gut! Like others have said, you don't need the added stress.

[Jennifer]

The nurse should take care of your child & keep her comments to herself. Unfortunately this is going to happen. It has been a vicious cycle of incompetent nurses at our home. I found out that you have to be a big part of your child's care in order for them to get better. Nurses take advantage of you. I mainly see poorly skilled,lazy and sloppy nurses. You are not alone. I would always ask to interview any potential nurse. I don't take smokers. If they say they smoke,that's it--no job. I set house rules. I try not to get overly friendly with them. I found that alot want this friendliness so they can make themselves more comfortable in your home. It goes on & on. I myself am up before the AM nurse arrives. She arrives @ 7am. I'm up @ 6:30am. Recently we have been without a midnite nurse so I'm up @ 5am. Nurses come & go alot. Majority of them have issues. It is so hard having people in your home knowing all your business. Like you can't even breathe. This is the hardest stressor of all. One thing for sure----you will find that you & only you are the best caregiver for your child. I always stay on top of things & make sure the nurse cares for my child as I would care for her. Oh yes you may get a good,caring nurse but few & far between. I feel your pain in your note. I too have been through so much with these nurses. You do need your rest but its hard with these knuckleheads. I figure I'll rest after my child's trach is pulled when & if it happens. For now, it's all about my child. Preventing illness & doing everything possible to get that trach out. Think of it that way. Take care & you are not alone.

[prozyan]

I don't think it is any of the nurses business what you are doing when she is on the clock. She is to care for your child whether you are taking a nap, grocery shopping, or at work. She is paid to care for the child so you can get done what you need to get done and that includes if you need to sleep!

[JWorthington]

I think you were right to get rid of her. it is no business of hers what you do - you are entitled to your sleep! She is there to look after your child, nothing else, and passing comment about what you do with your time is out of line in my opinion

[Ainsley's Mom]

You did the right thing. Our last day nurse drove me CRAZY a lot of little comments made in the third person (incompetence issues too). I wanted to let her go but felt bad. I think she sensed the writing on the wall and made up a lie to leave. It turned out to be the best thing ever. I'm so much happier with my new nurse. Don't feel guilty. I hope you find someone great to replace her and it's soon just a distant bad memory.

[libby1205]

I actually do feel so much better that its over and Ive had a couple of days to think about it. They found a replacement for her tomorrow and they are working on a regular person. But honestly Id rather have no one than her. I do all of her care (trach care/bath/etc) anyway and they mainly hang feeds, meds, suction take care of supplies,etc... I am happy that i dont have to feel judged anymore..I mean my own mother doesnt say anything like that to me. I told myself not to get super friendly with the nurses so this type of situation didnt arrise but she has been like this since the beginning and lots of times it was a comment about something maybe she heard me talking about with someone else not even info I offered to her. When I think about it, it drives me batty. Thanks everyone for the reassurance that I wasnt a lazy bum..that was my old life and I wouldnt trade back for the world. You guys are awesome!

[llwilliams8]

You did the right thing. The nurse is there to take care of your daughter and it's non of her business what you are doing (as long as it's not something to harm you or your child). On the weekends I scheduled my night nurses to leave later so I can sleep in and during the week if I get a chance to take a nap when my day nurse is here, I do. If a nurse ever made a comment to me about what I was or was not doing they would be fired asap. This is MY home and I'm going to be comfortable in it.