View Full Version : Shadow nurse

02-17-2010, 11:17 AM
:confused: We've had a lot of nurse upheaval since last September, but finally seem to have one that is going to work out M/T/W and the one who has been with Robin for several years for Th/F (all school hours). One thing I have noticed, although he really doesn't want to talk about it, is that Robin has become really detached from the nurses. (I'm not sure how it is at school because he is quite independent and the teacher can give the nurse other things to do in the room so that she doesn't hover over him). Some of this is just part of being 12 I think - some part is wishing he didn't need the nurse (although he has very positive, matter of fact attitudes toward his trach and g-tube). Anyway, long way to get to the fact that I had an e-mail from the nursing coordinator asking if she could send a Refresher nursing student for a week(all she told me is that she has previous ICU experience; didn't specify peds) and that she would observe, and then be expected to do any care required as the Preceptor nurse felt she was ready. I told the coord. that I will ask Robin and she (coord) seemed really ticked.....as if this was nothing, and why would I be asking my child! When Robin was a preschooler and first few years of school, I was very agreeable to them sending a nurse to observe for orientation to homecare - if they weren't going to work with him then they didn't do his care, just observed - in those days, I had excellent nurses and the ones they sent to observe all seemed good too - then things fell off and I decided no more. So, my question for you all is - do you think it is reasonable that I am asking Robin and going to go with his yay or nay? I don't think some people realize that the nurses are providing a very personal service (maybe not the right word), even if they aren't involved with bathing, toileting etc.Sorry, I'm rambling..thanks for reading. :confused:

02-17-2010, 11:25 AM
I think it is excellent parenting on your part to ask your son first. He is 12 years old and probably feels ready for some responsibility in taking charge of his own care. I know it's not easy having someone from the nursing agency annoyed with you, but you are absolutely doing the right thing and she should understand that too.

02-17-2010, 11:26 AM
I don't think that is unreasonable at all! Robin is definitely old enough to make a decision on what he is and isn't comfortable with (within reason of course :)), and he shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable for your coordinators convienence. Hunter is only a baby but if they send a nurse that he obviously doesn't like and is scared of we don't have her back.

02-17-2010, 12:45 PM
being as old as you son is, I think he has a right to be the decision maker on something like that. Why would you want to make him feel uncomfortable by forcing a stranger on him without his agreeing to it?

02-17-2010, 01:45 PM
I do think it is important to let him have his say. He is the one that has to tolerate the nuisance of having the shadow nurse. Whatever he decides...

02-17-2010, 02:42 PM
With as little control as these kids have over their lives I agree, it is the right thing to do to let him have his say. If you feel it is important to overrule his wishes, then that is ok too. I would certainly be asking my children about it!

Ainsley's Mom
02-17-2010, 03:29 PM
I think you are doing the right and respectful thing to check with him first. He is not a little child anymore and this person is a stranger to him. Maybe he won't mind. Or you'll decide he has to. But talking about it first is good.

Alex's mom
02-17-2010, 03:54 PM
I completely agree with what everyone else has said. Of course he should have a say.

02-17-2010, 10:10 PM
I agree... you are completely in the right to ask your son and let that be the decision. Maybe explain to him why you have have allowed this in the past, but let it be his decision.

Gretchen(Celia's mom)
02-17-2010, 10:41 PM
I think you ROCK for asking your child!!! It is HIS life!!! It is HIS business!! Hang tight mama!!

02-18-2010, 08:05 AM
You did great, Robin has a mind and deserves to give input! Karen

02-18-2010, 12:05 PM
You guys are great! Wish I'd joined sooner to have this support. So in nutshell here's what happened. (Oh and I should say,I don't normally have so much trouble making a decision, or second guessing my parenting, but this new coordinator seems to have that effect on me!) I talked to Robin about it, and he took a few minutes, sighed....said ok, that would be fine. Then a little while later, he said well, what if it's someone like____or _____(one is a nurse that was here in the fall and I have said absolutely will never return, the other is one who just fills in now and then but seems to need to be reminded of even the simplest things---therefore my notes to nurses are even more detailed!) and I reassured him that the regular nurse would be there,and wouldn't let this person do something that would make him uncomfortable etc. OK, he was on board, and in fact said, "Well, maybe if this is a good nurse, when she finishes her course, maybe she will be another nurse for me." (wow, good thinking buddy!)
I sent the e-mail off to say it was a go.....got a reply this a.m. that there was a change of plans and the nurse will be shadowing in another area, not respite afterall, so thanks but she won't be coming!!!!!!!! Ahhh, trying not to sweat the small stuff. C'est la vie, right? But it reconfirms that I will be talking more to Robin about decisions that affect him like this from now on!

02-19-2010, 09:28 AM
I absolutely agree that asking his opinion is the right thing to do. Allison is only 9 and usually quite agreeable but I'd ask her about something like that as well.