View Full Version : Am i overreacting?
One of our new nurses has only watched Nathan 2 times. She seemed fine the first 2 times--a little overly friendly but nice. Over the weekend she was with him. Since we had just gotten back from Cinci and he was extremely junky after the procedure, and it was only her 3rd time with him we kept one of the baby monitors in our room. It went off a bunch--as usual when he crunches his toe up. Well, she didn't hit the silence button and it kept alarming and alarming so he eventually woke up. Not a big deal, but I walked down to his room to show her how to silence the alarm again. I walked in and she was standing over his crib holding his arms and telling him "shhhhhhhh" in a loud voice. It was not a "mommy" sounding "shh". I looked at his face and he was crying. I silenced the alarm and she turned around and said something like "Oh, I'm sorry. He won't go back to sleep." I asked her why she wasn't holding him and she said, "Oh, can I pick him up?"
She wasn't yelling at him, but her tone of voice was not soothing. He was visibly upset holding up his arms to be picked up. Sometimes he wakes up and cried and you pick him up and pat him by the bed and he goes right back to sleep. It is worse after we've been in the hospital. He must have bad dreams.
What would you do? I told my husband I don't want her back in the house again. I just felt very uneasy when I got back into bed. It was like she knew she'd done something wrong because she said she was sorry after I walked in his room. The next morning when she left she kept telling me he had a "great" night and he was just "the cutest baby ever."
What do you experts think? We've never had a nursing problem before. We just switched agencies and this one is slow to send us new nurses to train.
01-30-2007, 03:22 PM
It is possible that another family she worked for didn't want the child picked up during the night? Did she say, "I'm sorry" just because you woke up and she had not silenced the alarm. I would probably give her another chance, but if you feel strongly, then go with your gut.
01-30-2007, 03:24 PM
If she comes back, tell her the nursery's wired with video cameras that record to your computer. Just mention it off-hand.
That is, IF she comes back. I think you're totally right on in dismissing her...but then, I'm overprotective and paranoid and I wouldn't let her back. If your gut's telling you something's wrong, something's probably wrong. If YOU are wrong, no harm, no foul. If your gut's right, and you ignore it? *shudder*.
01-30-2007, 03:46 PM
I don't have any experience with nurses in my home, but I'd go with my 'mommy radar'. It's usually spot on in regards to my kids and their needs, who likes them, and who is putting on a good 'show' for my benefit.
Let us know how it turns out...
I would 100% go with your gut. that is, if the only thing keeping you from saying anything is being uncomfortable.
I speak from experience, I had a similar nurse- just felt "off" I never caught her even doing anything questionable it was just the demeanor and level of involvement she wanted to have right off the bat. She was only scheduled to cover someone while they were out for a week. On the last day, 15 minutes before her last shift was up I heard her scream call 911. I don't know what happened except that in my view it was very questionable, thank god we were able to bring him back. But he was completely unconcious and blue. in my heart of hearts, and I hate to say this about anyone I feel that it was not an accident. the fear, anxiety and major guilt lasted for a long time, and my stomach turns even to remember that day.
anyhow, i am not trying to be alarmist or dramatic but jsut wanted to share my experience and if your husband too has a bad feeling it might be worth looking for another nurse.
for me, I do not take any nurse now unless i meet them first, outside of my home.
01-30-2007, 04:18 PM
Ive never had in home nursing either. But we recently have aquired a nurse to ride the bus and spend the day atschool with Allison. So Ive been getting a glimpse of how you all must feel letting someone into your home. In my opinion, if something feel off-whether it's for a good reason or no reason--I'd ask them not to send her back. Deb
01-30-2007, 05:52 PM
I agree with the mommy radar. We never wanted our overnight nurses to get Keturah out of bed at night, so maybe her last family was the same. Definitely go with your gut though!
01-30-2007, 06:01 PM
Trust your instincts, only you know what is best for your child. As for her funny ? about "Oh I can pick him up"? Well most of our nurses have to be told its ok to pick Emma up, apparently its not something that is done at all houses, and MOST parents don't want their child picked up and taken out of bed at night.
01-30-2007, 06:10 PM
OMG!!!!!! go with your gut definitely. That is my best advice, I won't go into it again, long story, but we had an RN abusing Hannah at home both verbally and physically. It would start with verbal abuse when she entered Hannah's room like "How much noise can one kid make?" and "I'm not going to listen to this all day..."& caught on camera saying this stuff and beating her. To my face, she was like "Oh they should make a Hannah doll" and "She is my little pumpkin", "Can I take her home for the weekend?" WHich totally confuses me http://www.tracheostomy.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/wow.gif leading me to believe that she really loved Hannah. But Hannah's reaction to that nurse was our clue, always crying when she was on shift and very anxious, tense etc. so we hid the camera. Please Please Please get rid of her, go with your gut!
mommy on a mission,
Golden Rule: Go with your gut!
01-31-2007, 12:39 AM
I'd prefer that the nurses not pick Aleah up either. If she's crying, I want to come get her and soothe her, but I'm weird like that. I was the mom yelling at the nurses in the PICU and NICU when they called Aleah "they're baby". Um, no, I'm her mom. After she got home, I finally felt like I could be a mother to her, and I'm very sensitive to things like bottle and oral feedings, and other things. Our day nurse is wonderful.
I've been through several night nurses in our 2 short months home and have asked the agency not to send anymore. The alarms wake us up and we sleep with a monitor on. It's often more disruptive when we do have a nurse because they keep the table lamp on and keep the girls awake, are always taking temps, changing diapers, assessing, anything but let her get a good nights sleep.
But, I would go with your gut.
01-31-2007, 08:01 AM
hi we've been through that with nurses and the uneasy feeling, I would go with your gut on this one. We had some pretty strange women in our house taking care of our daughter and I told at least 5 in a year to not ever come back. I did try to sit with them and see where they were on certain subjects and ask them a few questions like "do you have kids" etc just to see where they are.
01-31-2007, 12:03 PM
I'm with everyone......If it doesn't feel the least bit right in your gut, then it's not. How do you just ignore that feeling if she is back in your home. Nursing is supposed to provide you with a break so you don't worry. What is the point if you do worry. I feel bad that this happened. Yuck. http://www.tracheostomy.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/hug.gif
01-31-2007, 04:43 PM
Quote[/b] ]Oh and eventually I DID put a video monitor in the bedroom. SO worth it!
We did too! Even though we don't have full coverage, when we have it, I sleep sooooo much better knowing I can just check the tape in the morning. http://www.tracheostomy.com/iB_html/non-cgi/emoticons/sleepy.gif
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