How Do You Get Your Non-trached Kids to School?

[Ainsley's Mom]

This is indirectly a trach related question. I'm wondering how other people get their non-trached kids to and from school or preschool. We find it really difficult to drive Ainsley in the car. I hate being stopped at a red light and hearing that she needs suctioning. I hate pulling over on the side of the road to suction her in the ONE mile drive. Getting all the stuff in and out of the car. And the fact that she throws up makes it just that much more horrible because every second that I drive and she's in the back coughing I know she's likely to throw up, often right into her face and possibly her trach.

We've relied on friends to help out by taking Adrian to preschool, but I think they think I'm making a big deal out of nothing and are not offering to bring him anymore. Of course I understand that it's not necessarily convenient for them but I still feel that if they were truly my friends they would do it happily without making me feel bad. Especially since they live very close to us.

I'm considering pulling him out of preschool even though I know it's not in his best interest because I'm so tired of asking people to take him and feeling indebted.

As far as Evie: We do carpool in the mornings with a neighbor. Steve goes in to work late and drives the carpool on our two days a week (they are nice enough to do the other 3 days a week) and I stay home with Ainsley and Adrian. That alone is not ideal for Steve but it seems to be our best choice. Evie catches a ride home all 5 days a week with 3 different neighborhood families. Last year she rode home on the special ed bus 3 days a week and caught a ride with friends the other 2 but as I've said in other posts, she hated the bus.

Sorry this is so long, but I know some of you would wonder how we've done it so far.

[Mom2TwinsPlus1]

Could you possibly put a note up at the school? Maybe another parent would be happy to pick him up. We were going to do that but haven't yet this year. Or ask the school they might have some ideas for you, just tell them your difficulties. Do you live to close to put him on a bus or is he half day and can't ride the bus? Hmm that is a tough one. Not sure what to offer you for advice other than those few things

We have no car so its diffrent for us. I stay home with Emma and Ella in the mornings and Derek gets Dad to take him the almost 1 mile to school, if its cold we sometimes get rides with friends. Then Dad watches the girls in the afternoon and I walk to pick Derek up.

I do understand what you mean about having to ask people for rides, I dont like doing that either, I always feel like I am bugging someone. That is why we walk, because we can and it works well for us. I know walking wouldnt fix your situation but telling you how we work it. I am so lucky hubby gets off work in the mornings just in time to take Derek to school and then comes home and sleeps until its time for me to go get Derek.

I hope you find something that works for you, it would be a shame to have to take him out of school for that.

[Ann]

This is no help to you at all, but fortunately, Jack's nurse arrives every morning at 7am and then I'm off and running. I have two different schools I have to drop my kids off at - two in high school and one in Kindergarten. There is absolutely no way I could load Jack in the car in the mornings (not unless I started my day at 4am like Cindy).

[T-bone]

I don't know if you can do this or not, but with Abby, if we are going in the car somewhere. I will give her a big suction right before we leave. I will clean her out right to her toes. Does that make sense?

We are usually able to get where we are going without her needing sx'ing again.

Tess

[suzanne2545]

Susan,

Ann may be more help than she thinks she is. I know you were thinking of (or actually) cutting back on nursing. How about some nursing hours that would let you do some driving. Last year, when Parker was just out of the hospital we had our night nurse stay an extra hour and a half until I could get Berkeley to the school bus on his school days.

I know our agency requires a 4 hour block for shift nursing, but if I had the hours and the need a few days a week I would schedule that block. Get the kids to school, run an errand or take my others to the library or whatever.

Could you do something like that two days a week. Then you could split the burden with your neighbors and your husband can be off the hook.

Parker doesn't need suctioning all that often anymore but a year ago I couldn't go 5 minutes without needing to do it and we just stopped as much as we needed and I took roads that had an easier place to pull over and once I even turned my blinkers on at a red and did what I needed to do . . .

[Alethia]

My daughter (8) gets the bus in the mornings - not an option for you, I know. Her school is 2 miles away. I hope when she gets older she'll consider walking because it's so much healthier.

If I were in your situation, I would walk because it's easier to stop to suction when walking and less stressful. There's still stuff to load up, I appreciate how difficult that is, but I used to walk with Angus and his carer to his nursery and found it really set me up for the day. I put his oxygen under the buggy, his vent over the handlebars, and the suction bag and big holdall with all his nursery stuff over my shoulders and we were all set. In the colder months we used a BIG quilted cosy-toes in his buggy to keep him warm and he was fine.

These days Angus goes to one nursery in the morning and a different one in the afternoon so walking isn't an option sadly. I missed the exercise, and kind of miss my waistline........

[LeslieML]

Chris catches the bus at 0830 in the morning. He is almost 13 he can handle this. It's 5 miles to his school and I don't trust him to ride his back on some of those roads...or do I not trust the drivers?
I leave the house with Chad at 0530 and drop him off at his daycare/preschool.
Bert leaves at 0645 after the nurse arrives at 0630 and he gives passdown, unless Chase is awake and throwing a fit about "everybody leaving him", then he runs as soon as the nurse walks in the door.

[faywrayy]

Kate's day nurse comes at 8a and I leave with my boys at 8:30a. She's here until 4, and I pick them all up before that. Last year, if she was late...the boys were late. No way I put her in the car for that. Now, she's way more stable and hardly any suctioning so if I need to take her, it's not an issue.

[Livi's_mama]

Nate rides the bus in the am everyday and then he rides it home 3 days a week. I pick him up the other two days.

At the beginning of the yr I picked him up from school everyday and it did get to be too much to drag Livi out for just a 20 minute jolt. It took longer to load/unload her and her things, so I broke down and let him ride the bus. (he'd been asking to)

Much easier now.

He also didn't go to preschool because of me needing to DO/PU him and Livi had just come home. I wasn't about to do that.

It all worked out in the end. He didn't miss anything by not going to preschool. He's one of the more knowledgeable ones in his class and he's perfectly social.

[babysupermansmommy]

When Ariana was till in preschool and lived with is this is what I did...
If it was a day our nurse came in at ten she started preschool at 10 till 5
If it was a day our nurse didnt come at all I would take her to preschool at 8am so Tony could be eating breakfast while Anthony slept, and he could still leave for work on time, OR Tony took her one his way in....BUT remember tony runs his own buisness....he makes his rules :)

And in the afternoons, if tony was home i would go get her or he would get her on his way home, or grandma would swing by after an errand and drop her off.

when she start kindergarden her mom took her in the mornings
and i got her at three
and if we didnt have a nurse anthony went along
but ari's school was 20 mins from our house...and anthony can go for a car ride with out suction

If you really needed help, i would put a note up at school and see if a fellow class mates parent could help you out. It sounds like its a lot of work just for a short drive!

[WeAdoptKids]

I am of no help because all of our children ride the bus. Matter of fact, the bus has to actually back up to our home...about 100 yards as there is no way for a bus to turn around at the end of the street. Now, she does this five times a day....what a great way to go.

Our children really have no say in how it all works. Now, it was hard on a few of them as they were higher functioning than most. They still have to ride the special/wheelchair bus because we have a wheelchair getting on or off every time....so all have to ride.

We live about 7 miles from the school....but again this is a rural area.

Roberta

[TommysDad]

Tommy's mom here...Does your older child go to private preschool or public? Just wondering. I know a lot about public school law and had some ideas, but if they go to private, I'm not much help.

I know I'm no help either about what we do with our older son, Brandon, because he's 8 years old. He goes to the bus stop by himself more times than not, and he walks home alone from the bus stop. But again, he's 8 & in 3rd grade!

I think the posting/announcement idea at school is a good idea. Once others realize there's a need, I would think someone would be willing to help. I know I would do it if I just knew about it!

Oh I hope you don't have to pull your older one out of preschool! I'm sure they don't want to give it up, and I'm sure you don't want to give it up either!

[cbissell]

(not unless I started my day at 4am like Cindy).

HAHAHA Ann! Not quite that bad, but will need to get up a 4:30 next year when the boys start high school. However, one "advantage" to having all special needs kids is that all 3 boys get picked by vans right at my front door. So, that's nice.

[jenell3@insightbb.com]

I hate to tell you this but I was VERY lucky I had a family that lived close to us and also drove there kids to school they helped me for 2 years, when they were on vacation or one of there kids were sick I was lucky again to have a family member or my husband take off to pick up my older child. I know this isnt much help but i also had day nurses that came twice a week when I went back to work, so if you have someone in your childs class you are friendly with that also drives it never hurts to ask, you will be suprised how much people want to help, I was always someone who hated to ask for help but when Chance was born I did not have a choice, I could not do it all alone, I tried but you will make your self sick. When Chance was a baby our doctor told me not to travel alone with him so I did not, he was I think 2 before I traveled alone with him. GOOD LUCK hope I helped!

[Ainsley's Mom]

We've relied on friends to help out by taking Adrian to preschool, but I think they think I'm making a big deal out of nothing and are not offering to bring him anymore. Of course I understand that it's not necessarily convenient for them but I still feel that if they were truly my friends they would do it happily without making me feel bad. Especially since they live very close to us.

I'm considering pulling him out of preschool even though I know it's not in his best interest because I'm so tired of asking people to take him and feeling indebted.

I think I didn't mention that these "friends" have kids going to the same preschool and they live a few blocks away. Oh well, that's life.

Sadly, I notified the teachers last night that I'm taking Adrian out of preschool. :cry: I just can't get him there. Driving alone with Ainsley is just too much. I'm very sad for him that he'll be stuck with me here all day every day. It was a really great school. He's going to miss it. But kids are resilient, right?

Evie will be home for the summer in a few months and then he'll start Kindergarten in the fall and it'll be fine because whatever we do for transportation with Evie he can go along. I can hope that by then Ainsley won't require so much suctioning or will have stopped vomiting, making it safer to drive so we are not so imprisoned by her trach. :(