Does anyone REALLY do this?? Re: Emergencies

[twintotwin]

I notice it more and more as the years go by, on all the medical shows. When a pt. is in trouble (ie: needs to be bagged or intubated or codes), why does the mother, father, boyfriend, wife...whoever is at the bedside, always scream "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO HER?? I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING!! NO, I AM NOT LEAVING HERE! WHAT'RE YOU PEOPLE DOING? WHY ARE YOU STICKING THAT TUBE DOWN HIS THROAT??"

You get the picture.

I don't know about all of you moms (and dads) here, but everytime I was at the bedside during a life-threatening emergency, I backed off. When the team came in, I would leave the room completely.
Heck, once, I even ran into some random room where I crinkled papers (I think I ate some pieces too) and wrapped about 20 bumper stickers around my ankles because they were there. I just wanted to be dead. I wouldn't talk to ANYONE unless they had good news. It took 2 hours before I heard good news.

It was Milo, when I accidently kicked over his O2 tank that was attached to his HME which was attached to his trach that was SUTURED to his stoma!! The trach came out but was still sutured to Milo and they couldn't get his trach back in properly. This caused a pneumothorax and he ended up on a vent for a week. He was being discharged as this accident occured!

Later I found out it was the Ronald McDonald Family room, so after I had my Xanax brought from home, I popped one, immediately went out of panic mode and fell asleep on their comfy sofa.

So should I have stayed and screamed at the doctors while they were trying to save my son's life?
Ugh.
I was just watching Grey's Anatomy- the part where Korev chucked that lady out of the room b/c she was a CRAZY parent.

Just wondering what you've all done during those times where your child coded or something life-threatening urgently needed to be done. Did you hover over the docs? Or did you leave the room and pray harder than every before?
:grouphug: <------to all of you who've gone through what you have, and continue to endure- we're all with you sisters! (and brothers)

[Whitney]

Is this Hollywood?? The shows I mean.... The one time I witnessed an emergency (with the family at the bedside), the parents left the room. I know one nurse stayed with them and explained what was going on and the family wanted to stay out of the way. I have not seen any families yelling during the episode itself (more like afterwards)...

[JacobKaden]

Too hilarious Kerry! I am also a Grey's Anatomy fan and no, I definitely did not get in the doctors' way during life threatening events. Usually, DH and I slowly backed away from Jacob's isolette/bed (as the case may be, as sadly there have been a number of these occasions), hanging on to each other for dear life, praying with all our might and we were strangely SILENT..............it's definitely got to be a Hollywood thing.

[TommysMommy]

The only time I have seen something like that happen to Tommy was when he was about 24 hours old and I went to see him in the NICU. The nurse and I were standing on either side of his bassinette talking and all of a sudden she said, please be quiet, I need to assess him, and she called another nurse to comfirm. He wasn't breathing! They called for assistance and it was like slow motion that he was surrounded by nurses and doctors trying to revive him. It was a good 5-10 minutes before it was over, but it felt like forever. I was just standing in the background in my nightgown and robe, watching and wondering if he was going to die in front of me. The grandmother of the baby across from him must have seen my expression (total shock) and came over and put her arm around my shoulder. I don't remember what she said, but it snapped me back to reality. Tommy was fine. He was just doing the preemie thing and forgetting how to breathe. I will never forget how blue he turned.

I would have never, ever, ever told them to get away from my child! More like "get your :censored: in here and save my child!!!!

[bradensmom]

The closest that I have ever came to acting completely stupid during an emergency was recently when Braden had his Spinal Fusion. AFter two weeks of being in the hospital we finally moved to a room, well he had a severe allergic reaction to Cipro and went completely unresponsive, pulse was dropping in the 60s (he's never below 90), and his BP was 80 systolic. The nurses called a doc up that I didn't know. She was taking her sweet little time reading the chart walking around and not doing anything. I was finally completely in a panic and said to her very sternly "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO??) If she hadn't gotten her :censored: in gear then I was going to the PICU myself and getting one of the docs. All of the nurses, even the supervisors for the whole hospital were as paniced as me. The floor nurse even called the supervisor when that doc told him not to. It was that serious.
Amy

[JWorthington]

I agree, that is definitely Hollywood. Any sensible parent would back off and let the experts do their job. This happened to us when Sam was in HDU (high dependency unit) a couple of days after he was trached. At this time he was still eating and dad gave him some cheetos (his fave snack at the time) and it blocked his trach. Like Milo's the trach was still sutured in but they had to change the trach. I was at home so didn't witness it, but dad had to leave the room and find somewhere to sit with his head in his hands for an hour while they changed the trach and bagged Sam, I believe he was a pretty nasty colour. I got called to the hospital but all was fine again when I got there (thankfully). At that point the 'no more food' decision was made, that was one of our worse days I think :( We really thought we'd lost him.

Juliex

[cbissell]

Kerry, it's scary enough to go through something like this, but the guilt on top of the fear must have been awful!:hug:

He was just doing the preemie thing and forgetting how to breathe.

WOW, this brings back memories! Hard to believe that preemie parents actually do get used to these apnea spells...

[My little figther]

HOLLYWOOD, HOLLYWOOD, I guess they need to amplify the dramatic situation.
I sure know that when Cedric turned blue, my daughter and I left the room to make sure not to be in the way of the doctors and nurses who were taking care of Cedric. We were in the hallway not looking at each other and praying as hard as we could for everything to be all right.
Michelle

[alizesmom]

As a retired nurse, I've been on both sides. Never have I seen someone react that way and as a parent I get out of the way. Karen

[scm]

In the "early days" I would back off because I wouldn't want to know what was going on. But now, I am bitter and jaded (:blush: ) and watch like a hawk becasue I am worried someone with hurt Max, and I have caught some mistakes (like trying to intubate with the wrong size ET tube!!) I have definitley made suggestions in the heat of them moment because I know what he responds to best. On the other hand, one time I lost it when I couldn't get the trach back in I was shaking and tearing Max's room apart trying to find something that would do the trick and I felt like it was a hollywood moment when I heard the paramedic say "Maam you really need to calm down, I think he will do better if you just CALM DOWN" And he was right, though I didn't believe hiim at the time.
p.s. when we finally got to the ER that time, my husband met us there and it was his turn...he was yelling at them to not put an IV in- but you have to understand we just got home from 7 wks in icu and had been through every intervention possible. He really was only trying to spare Max the pain. Then I had to yell at him to be quiet becuase they needed access...again very hollywood.:p

[Alethia]

Yup, another "backer off-er" here! When Angus had his cardiorespiratory collapse in ER initially I was holding him because we wanted to see if that would help calm him down, but as all his stats got worse, I laid him on the bed and stood back, holding onto Gavin in numb shock. A nurse said we could stay if we wanted, but there were so many people in the room, that we felt it was just better if we left so that we didn't present a distraction. You just want them to be able to focus fully so they can save your kid's life, you know?

I think I would only get all "Holllywood" on their asses if we were in an unfamiliar hospital and the docs didn't know how to deal with Angus appropriately. Even then, I'd probably just present a quiet, but firm physical obstruction until they'd listened to me and how things need to be done.

I think you probably only see Hollywood reactions if the family member/friend is on something like alcohol or drugs. They don't behave appropriately then. You tend to see more normal reactions in House as people just stare through the glass, clinging to each other.

[annettevz]

I know I don't!! When Ash coded when she was 5 weeks old, I HAD to leave the room. I couldn't stand to sit and watch whatever thay were doing to my baby. Docs and RTs and such need the space to be able to save your child. If you are in the room freaking out, it just adds to their stress and doesn't do any good.

Just my 2 cents.

Annette

[Mom2TwinsPlus1]

I stay right by Emma if I am allowed. First she coded at home 3 times so of course we were there, doing CPR but she has had 3 life threatening issues at hospitals and had I not been there she could have died. She wasn't coding persay but her sats were in the 40's.

Because of her apneic spells she had (probably 50-100 easily from Jan to June) I guess I just stay cool under pressure, its nothing to really brag about, because when its all over I do go in a quite place and break down.

1. I left to get lunch came back and she was blue, sats in the low 50's. No nurse in site, pulseox blarring. I had to bag her and scream for help, in which they came 10 to 15 mins later! They came in the room and told me to move, and I told them no. I kept bagging and helping.

2. Once her hospital vent came unhooked and it beeped and her sats dropped right down, she turned blue etc. The nurse was in there and couldn't figure out what was wrong, they all paniced and yelled for an RT who was of course on a diffrent floor. I had to literally say CALM DOWN, START AT HER NECK AND FOLLOW THE CIRCUIT! and found it was unhooked at the machine itself, the nurse said no its ok its ok its not unplugged, but it was!

3. She had a severe allergic reaction to a med and sats dropped heart dropped etc and they came in and told me to get out. I told them it was the drug and they told me no it wasn't. They did make me leave eventually and they scoped her for plugs. I was bagging her the whole time, because believe it or not the ICU nurse had no idea how to bag a trach.

So if I can stay I do, because for one, if she dies I want to be there, and if I am there I can help, where they have no idea how to deal with things.

[suzanne2545]

One of our nurses also works part time in a local ER and she constantly tells us how cool, calm and collected we are. Once she told me that she recently had to give a baby parker's age a NEBULIZER. Mom was apparently freaking out and screaming at them to stop hurting her baby. Get a grip. Jeez. I know it isn't fun to see your baby upset but peek over the curtain and see what some of the other people in the ER are getting done!

Suzanne

[Alex's mom]

In any emergency I was present for, I've always stepped back and watched what was happening, holding my breathe and waiting for it to be over.
Except the last one.... two ER nurses were trying to get an IV in Alex while we were waiting for her to be admitted for a respiratory illness. Alex turned blue, my husband (usually nervous Nelly) grabbed the ambuu and started bagging her. I saw the trach peaking out from underneath her trach ties. It had somehow twisted out (reason for her being blue). I start yelling "her trach is out" reached over and grabbed it, got it back in. (because no one else was!) At this point we are yelling at the nurses to get a dr or rt (they were watching us). DH continued to ambuu her as her bed got rolled into a trauma room because there is now blood gushing out of the trach and they need to try and stop the bleeding. Uggh. I still tremble at this memory. Once the RT and Dr's arrived we stepped back, dh, dissapeared somewhere down the hall, and I stayed and watched them suction blood from her trach for the next 10 minutes.

She spent 3 weeks in the hosp after this, but did come out of it ok. Scary tho. I never thought I'd see my dh jump into action like that. At home, he usually starts yelling for me if anything happens. :rolleyes: